Lost Inside
by erickatie
Summary: What would happen if the baby Faith was carrying wasn't Fred's baby and that's why she had a an abortion,to protect her kids.


**This is just a one shot unless I get enough reviews to make me think it's worth writing the rest.**

The locker room was empty and cold. Faith stood at her locker with a distance stare across the room at Bosco's locker. Her heart was torn into a thousand pieces and she felt like her world was spinning out of control. A tear trailed down her cheek. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She tried so hard to keep things control, but it was like someone or something-else had control of her that night, and she just couldn't stop herself.

"Man, your crazy." Davis laughed as he entered the locker room in front of Bosco. "Hey, Faith." He said as he passed by her.

"Davis," She smiled, but it quickly faded when her eyes locked with her partners.

Bosco didn't say a word. He just kept walking to his locker. Davis grabbed his clothes and headed towards the showers. Bosco took a seat on the bench next to his locker and started to unbutton his uniform top, to reveal the white tank top beneath it. Faith took a deep breathe. She had fought with herself for the past three days trying to figure out how to tell him.

She hug up her uniform and closed the door to her locker. Her knees begin to tremble and she didn't think she'd be able to walk in his direction, but she pulled herself together and walked over to him. "Boz, can we talk?"

He glanced up at her as he proceeded in taking off his shoes. "It's a free world. Do as you please."

"Bosco, please I don't need the hostility right now." She couldn't stand anymore, she took a seat next to him on the bench. Her hands were clammy and her voice cracked. "I've been beating myself up for the past three days trying to find a way to say this…" She swallowed hard at the lump in her throat but it never seemed to move. "… Boz,…I'm pregnant." Her tears once again swelled in her eyes.

Bosco dropped his shoe onto the floor. His face turned pale and his mouth dropped open. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was as if he was sitting still and the world around him was spinning away. "Your what?"

Faith wiped her tears away. "I'm pregnant."

He stood up and leaned against the locker with his back to her and his head hug low. He needed a second to take this all in. He turned to her. "Who's the father?"

"Well, since Fred's been drunk and hasn't touched me in over three months, who the hell do you think, Bosco?" She said as she stood up angry.

"This can't be happening." He kicked the door shut to his locker. "I don't believe it. How could you let something like this happen?"

"Your blaming me." Her voice raised with anger. How could he even dare to put the blame on her. "Boz, there was two people in that car that night. Two people that got bored with there assignment and gave into urges that they never should have. So don't you dare put this on me."

He snatched up his shoes from the floor and started towards the door. "You know what,.. I can't deal with this right now."

"Bosco,…" She called after him.

Bosco stormed pass Davis who was entering from the showers almost knocking him over on his way out. He let the door slam behind him.

"Damn… What's his problem?" Davis looked over at Faith.

"He's Bosco… that's his problem." She said as she hurried out of the room.

Davis shook his head and laughed. "Those two deserve to be partners."

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Bosco sat at the bar drinking a beer. In front of him sat three bottles that he had obviously finished already. Davis entered pausing at the sight of him. He walked slowly over to Bosco with his hands in his coat pockets. He took a seat next to him and motioned at the bartender for a beer.

"Rough day?" Davis asked.

Bosco took a slug of his beer and glanced over at Davis with a go to hell look.

Davis grinned. He knew Bosco didn't want company by the expression on his face and that made him want to stay and pry even more. "What's going on between you and Yokas? I mean first of all you two are always inseparable and here lately the two of you aren't even talking much. I'd hate to be in that RMP with you guys." He said taking a swig of his drink. "Then tonight you both storm out of the room like Indians on a war path."

"Davis, have you ever loved someone so much, but you knew that no matter what you'd never get to be with them. Like she's your destiny and you feel that deep down inside here,…" Bosco said beating himself on the chest were his heart is. "…but it's like your in a different zone. Like you reach and reach for her but there's this bubble around her stopping you from ever holding her tight."

Davis looked at Bosco in complete shock. "Are you talking about Yokas? Are you in love with your partner?"

He hung his head in shame. He knew she was married but he still loved her. He couldn't help it. He fell in love with her the first day they met at the academy. He knew that she was the only person who could ever keep him in his place. "I know that there's Fred. But all he does is hurt her."

"Bosco, listen to yourself. Faith is married with kids. And despite the way Fred treats her, Bosco, you just don't cross that line."

"Hey,…" Bosco yelled at the bartender. "Do I have to get myself a beer?" He slammed the empty bottle on the counter next to the other empty ones. Then he turned on his bar stool to face Davis. "I screwed up, man. I screwed up."

Davis just looked at his friend. He had known for a long time that there was always a chemistry between them. He just never knew how serious it was.

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Faith sat on her sofa with a tissue clutched tightly in her hand. The kids were at school and Fred had to work a double shift, she had spent the whole morning on the sofa crying. She was lost and confused. She didn't know what to do. The event's of that evening playing over and over in her head like a Saturday matinee. There was a knock on the front door breaking her concentration. She dried her eyes and stopped by the mirror to pull herself together. She opened the door to see Davis.

"Davis,… what are you doing here?" Her heart sunk deep thinking something had happened to Bosco. "Is something wrong?"

He waved his hands no. "No. No. I was just on my way to the station and was wondering if you might need a lift."

Faith didn't know what to think. She and Davis talked a little at work, but that was it. "Why?"

"You just seemed up set last night. I thought maybe if you needed someone to talk too,…" He never was good at saying the right things. "…well, I'm a great listener."

Faith walked back into the apartment. Davis followed behind her. She entered the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee, she turned and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He said, not quite sure if she was taking him up on his offer or not.

"Did Bosco send you over here?"

"No." He leaned against the sink. "Faith, Bosco is my friend, but that doesn't mean that I can't be there for the both of you."

She shook her head in agreement. "So he told you that I'm pregnant. That we slept together on duty one night and that I'm pregnant." She paused. "I'm pregnant with his child."

Davis was glad he was already leaning against something sturdy, or else he would have fallen backwards at the news. The only thing Bosco had said was he was in love with Faith. He failed to mention the whole ramp and rave in the RMP. "Ugh,…" He looked at her confused trying to take everything in. "Your having Bosco's baby!" He walked over to the table. "I've got to sit down."

Faith couldn't believe that she just blurted it out. But she felt relieved to have someone to talk to. Being the only girl officer on her beat made it hard to find someone to talk to about problems. "He didn't tell you, did he?"

Davis shook his head no. "The only thing we talked about was how much you mean to him." He looked up at Faith. "Are you sure that its Bosco's. I mean isn't there a chance its Fred's?"

Faith walked over and took a seat at the table next to Davis. "Davis, what I tell you better not ever go any farther than this room."

"You have my word. Scouts honor."

She fumbled with the placemat in front of her. "Fred… he….a,…" She took a deep breath. "He's been drinking a lot. For the past three months we never kissed or touched. We just walked pass each other taking turns sleeping on the couch. I've always been attractive to Bosco. When we first met he was like a breath of fresh air that I needed. He was totally opposite Fred, you know. He had this edge, this roughness, but I could tell that he had the biggest heart in the world, but he'd never show it." She grinned. "I've pretended that these feelings for my partner, that they were just that. Love for my partner. Always having his back. Then he started dating Nicole on a regular bases and I felt like I was loosing him." She starts to cry. "I was jealous that my partner was dating. I should have been happy for him."

"Faith,…" Davis said taking her hand for comfort.

"It's okay, Davis." She grinned quickly taken care of the tears that had fallen, with a napkin she had folded on the table. "We were at a stakeout. We were watching this building that we knew was being used as a meth lab. We'd been sitting there for hours and it was raining heavy. Bosco had just said something crazy and we both started to laugh. But our eyes locked in and for that one moment it was as if there was no one-else in the world. Just Boz and me. No drunk husband at home that worried more about his beer than me. Bosco looked at me with such warmth and such love. The next thing I remember. We were kissing in the back of the police car." She laughed. "Can you believe that?"

Davis didn't know what to believe anymore. He had heard more than he ever thought he would hear and he wasn't for sure just how to swallow it yet. "Bosco loves you Faith."

"I know. The very next day he had hid a bouquet of flowers in the RMP for me. He told me his true feelings and I told him that the night shouldn't have happened. That it was just a night that happened because we were bored and the rain made him look sexy."

"That's why there's been tension between the two of you!"

"Yeah." She patted Davis on his hand that held hers. "I saw Bosco break that very day. And it killed me like someone had just stabbed me with a knife right through the heart and I'll never ever forget that look upon his face."

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"I've got the radios and the keys. I'll be in the car when your ready." Bosco said not making eye contact as Faith read over a report that Swertsky handed her.

Faith glanced over at Davis who was standing next to her waiting on Sully to get out of the bathroom. "This is gonna be real fun."

Davis laughed. "Hang in there, Yokas. Everything will work out."

"I hope your right, Davis. I hope your right." She signed the report and laid it down on the counter before walking out of the station.

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The car ride was silent as Bosco kept his eyes on the road in front of him and Faith stared out the window at the buildings flying by. 55 David had never been that quiet on the third watch. Bosco usually had some story about some hot chick that he just hooked up with. And Faith usually had a complaint about Fred.

He glanced over at Faith looking her up and down. He turned his attention back to the street. "How do you feel?" He asked breaking the silence.

Faith was taken back that he finally spoke to her. "Ugh… I'm fine."

"No morning sickness?" He asked with a cold glance in her direction.

"A little." She replied. "How about you? Did you sleep good?"

He flashed his lights to get the attention of the people next to him. He made his way through the traffic to the side of the street. He through the car into park and turned off the engine.

"Did I sleep good last night? What the hell kind of question is that?" He asked hastily. "Your pregnant with my child. You're my partner and friend and you have a husband and kids… and I'm stupid." He said hitting the steering wheel hard. "Faith, how could I have been so stupid?" He cried.

Faith unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted over to him, placing her hand on his back. "Bosco,… I'm sorry. I should have been the adult and I should have stopped it."

He looked over at her. "I just… I've loved you for so long."

"I know." She wiped away his tears. "I've loved you for a long time too."

He smiled. "For real?" He asked. Bosco had longed to be loved but never thought it would be possible. His father beat him as a child and his mother loved him in her on twisted way. But he'd never experienced true love.

"For real." She returned his smile.

"So what are we going to do?" He leaned back in his seat, wrapping his arm around her.

She rested her head on his chest. "I don't know, Bosco. I don't know. But I do know that I don't want you hating me or not talking to me."

"No matter what, Faith Elizabeth Yokas, I'll never be able to hate you." He kissed the top of her head.

Faith caught the glimpse of someone that looked familiar. She leaned forward to get a better look. "No-way." She said.

"What?"

"That's the guy we've been looking for." She opens the car door and jumps out.

"Faith,… Faith,…Damn,…" Bosco cranked up the car and took off down the street behind Faith.

Faith turned down the opposite street hot on the trail of her call. She saw him run down the stairs to the subway. She didn't hesitate one second,. She followed him down the stairs and into the subway. Then suddenly he was gone. She looked around the crowed subway, till she saw him on the landing above her. She quickly started up the steps as she ran down the tunnel she was hit in the stomach by a long metal pipe. She grabbed her stomach and fell to the ground in agonizing pain. The purp fled the scene. Faith laid there with tears in her eyes as she called for help.

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Bosco walked up and down the hallway waiting on the doctor to say it was okay for him to see Faith. He blamed himself for not stopping her from following the guy. It should have been him, he thought to himself.

"Bosco,…You can see her now." Mary said as she exited the room.

Faith slowly started to get off the examine table, Bosco hurried to her side to give her a helping hand. He handed her jacket to her, helping her put it on. "What did they say?"

"They said I would be sore for a few days." She smiled tightly. "But I'll be fine."

He smiled. "That's good."

She took him by the hand. Her lips quivering. "I lost the baby. They said that this some times happens with a blow like that."

Bosco's heart broke into. He liked the ideal of being a father. And now that was taken away from him. Maybe it was for the best, considering there was no way she could have had the baby and not tell Fred what happened between them that night. "I'm sorry, Faith."

"Yeah." She cleared her throat. She knew that Bosco wanted to be a dad someday, so he could make up for all the wrongs his father did. "Are you going to be okay?"

He smiles a fake smile. "Yeah. I'll be fine." He kissed her on the cheek. He some how knew that what they had shared was gone and that they would have to work hard to rebuild the friendship they once shared, it was going to be a long road back, but She was worth every tear he cried, every thought he had, and every pain he felt. Because deep down he knew that she was the one for him and he knew she knew it too.

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Faith entered the clinic by the bridge. She waited in the paper thin gown for the doctor to enter. The room was cold and lonely. She was terrified, but she knew that for Emily and Charlie's sake this was what she had to do. She had to lie to the man she truly loved. She had to go back to pretending that what they shared was that of two friends, two partners that had each others backs. But she never would forget the moment they spent together that night in the back of that car. The way he made her feel special with each touch, or the way he kissed every part of her body, slowly and carefully. That memory couldn't be taken from her.

**If you like this story and would like to see what happens next just leave a review. I have plenty of ideals to carry this story on. So let me know if its worth it... Thanks, Kathy-Lynn Brown**_**  
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